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Movies: Best & Worst of 2004

Publication Date: Friday, January 07, 2005

Guilty pleasures
Top 10 hunks and babes of 2004

by Jeanne Aufmuth and Tyler Hanley

The Palo Alto Weekly's movie section always strives to provide our readers with a serious, comprehensive analysis of the week's cinematic offerings.

But once a year, we offer a fun and lighter feature, which celebrates the film industry's sexiest sirens. Inspired five years ago by the characteristically ribald remarks in Jeanne Aufmuth's reviews, the piece continues to delight many Weekly readers.

This year marks the debut of critic Tyler Hanley, who took over writing the "Babes" list after former Weekly reviewer Jim Shelby resigned. Hanley's picks run the gamut, from the angelic Natalie Portman to the ethereal Meryl Streep. Aufmuth once again compiled the "Hunks" list, arguing that schlumpy Paul Giamatti and grizzled Clint Eastwood can be sexy, too.

The biggest surprise? A heroine named Elastigirl.

Top 10 Hunks of 2004

Eric Bana He stole "Troy" right out from under Brad Pitt's Achilles heel with sculpted pecs, chocolate peepers and Truva machismo.

Jeff Bridges Blowzy caftans and squid-stained fingernails couldn't dim Bridges' timeless sex appeal as the flawed protagonist of "The Door in the Floor."

Don Cheadle Ebony skin, ivory smile and an unforeseen will to save his people in "Hotel Rwanda" equals political and passionate appeal.

Daniel Craig While seducing a guileless geriatric in "The Mother," Craig captivated me with his moody charm and irresistible bad-boy technique.

Clint Eastwood Grizzled and still got it going on, he directed, produced and starred in "Million Dollar Baby" with a stoic and sexy twinkle in his wrinkled eye.

Paul Giamatti Living proof that schlumpy can be sexy too, Giamatti made "Sideways" his own as the poster-child for emotionally impaired allure.

Tobey Maguire I didn't think much of "Spider-Man 2" but it yielded a brooding and conflicted superhero who was one of 2004's sexiest male sirens.

Clive Owen When you can steal the sexual thunder from Jude Law in a salacious pot-boiler like "Closer" you're doing something awfully damn right.

Peter Sarsgaard Sarsgaard should make a habit out of low-life. His conflicted state of mind in Zach Braff's "Garden State" fired on all cylinders and rendered me putty.

Joe Simpson The brave and cunning Simpson led the charge in "Touching the Void" by turning me on with stories of athletic grit and can-do heroism.

Top 10 Babes of 2004

Angelina Jolie Ignore her snake-obsessed psycho-mom in "Alexander." It was Jolie's limited screen time as the fearless Capt. "Franky" Cook in "Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow" that cemented her spot as one of the year's top babes. Only Jolie could turn an eye patch into eye candy.

Elastigirl Supported by Holly Hunter's alluring voice, Elastigirl gave "The Incredibles" a splash of va-va-voom. Selfless heroics + limitless flexibility + animated radiance = Is it getting hot in here?

Hilary Swank Swank was a knockout as the gutsy female boxer with Irish roots and an iron will in "Million Dollar Baby." Pick up platter, add heart, hand to Hilary.

Kate Winslet Don't let the fluorescent hair distract you. Her Clementine in "Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind" was outgoing, soulful and chock full of raw emotion.

Meryl Streep What's a good babes list without a really bad girl? And who better than cinema's most elegant actress, the ethereal Meryl Streep? Streep's wicked mother in "The Manchurian Candidate" was like Cruella De Vil meets Hillary Clinton -- only better-looking.

Natalie Portman Israeli native Portman's inspirational turn as the loquacious Sam in "Garden State" made tears stream and hearts flurry. It doesn't hurt that she has the face of an angel and the maturity of a performer well past her age.

Sarah Polley The "Go Girl" packed her resilient leading lady in "Dawn of the Dead" with courage, compassion and a healthy dose of take-no-nonsense. Even the zombies were stopped dead in their tracks when this sensitive rebel graced the screen.

Uma Thurman In "Kill Bill Volume 2," Thurman's vengeance-bent Bride wielded a wicked Hanzo sword, escaped an early grave and mastered the powerful five-point-exploding-heart technique. Call me a glutton for punishment, but there's nothing more attractive than a girl who can kick your butt.

Virginia Madsen Teaming with genius director Alexander Payne in "Sideways" proved a career adrenaline shot for this sultry siren. To quote the Rembrandts: "I need a love that has no ending -- Virginia on you, I'm depending. Sweet Virginia."

Zhang Ziyi Two men broke alliances, braved adversity and battled each other to near death over this "blind" ingenue in "House of Flying Daggers." Ziyi's grace and innocent charm team with her martial-arts prowess and fiery temper to make one mouth-watering babe.

 

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